0 or 15, it’s nobody’s business but your’s and your spouse’s.
From the time I was young, I knew I wanted to be part of a big family. When I met my husband, who is the oldest of seven, I’m pretty sure that one of our first conversations was about how I wanted nine kids (yes, that’s right). And I knew that he wanted a big family, too. So it only makes sense that 4 years into our marriage, we have 3 children and are still planning on having more in the future (God willing, of course).
But you can imagine the questions we get from my family, all who have 2 kids, when I say that I want a big family: “three kids IS a big family!”, “You want MORE kids!?”, “WHY?!”.
To answer all questions very bluntly: yes, we want more kids, and no we don’t care what you think because it’s none of your business.
I’ve heard so many people say that they’re sick of everyone asking if they’ll have kids soon, or if they’ll have more, or when they’re going to start trying. And the same can be said for when you have more than 2 kids. Suddenly the opposite happens: they want to know when you’ll stop having kids or if you know what makes babies.
Here’s the bottom line: whether you choose to have 22 children or would rather just have a cat, it’s no one’s business but your’s and your spouse’s.
What happens in the bedroom between a husband and wife is just that: between a husband and a wife. And no one else.
I’m guilty of it too! I’ve jokingly asked when someone is going to have another baby… until I spoke with someone who had been struggling with infertility for years. She told me about how hard they tried for their first but just couldn’t make it happen again. And then she told me about how much that question hurt her each time someone asked it… even as a well-meaning joke.
I know a woman who wanted to have more than just her two children but her husband was dead-set against it. They would fight constantly after someone asked if they’d ever want another.
How about the couple who have a child with special needs as their first? They get asked if they’ll ever have another, and if they do, will they be able to give their first enough attention.
You never know the struggles people are having.
It’s best to leave peoples’ bedroom business alone. If they need help or advice or want to vent, they’ll ask.
Do you know anyone like this? Is it you asking the questions or are you on the receiving end?
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