I MAKE my husband have his own bank account.
Bear with me here guys. Don’t go calling out the lynch mob just yet. Let me give you some back story.
My husband and I have a bit of a polar relationship with money. I’m an uber saver; like a squirrel prepping for a really bad winter. He is an uber spender; like the world is ending tomorrow and he should go buy everything!
If you put us together, we average out to a very healthy financial medium! But if we were left to our own devices, I would never spend a penny and he would be completely broke in 3 seconds flat.
If you gave my husband $100, you would come back to him an hour later and ask him where all the money went. He has no money left but lunch was great. Money burns a hole in his pocket faster than anyone I’ve ever met.
That’s why we found a financial compromise.
He has his own bank account with $25 a week in it. And that’s it.
Again, before you go and crucify me, we agreed to this. Both of us agreed.
“But wouldn’t it just be easier to have him control his spending ?”
Oh, my friend, yes. It would. But after years and years of trial-and-error, and overdrafts, and therapy, this is, in fact, the easiest answer for us.
“But doesn’t HE make the money?!”
Yep! And he knows that I know what to do with it much better than he does. We’re a family. We agreed, going into this marriage, that he would work and I stay home and homeschool the kids. Part of my job as President of this household is CFO (Chief Financial Officer). I manage the money. And part of that is managing the spenders of that money. We’re a team and I’ve been elected as Captain, but that doesn’t detract from the importance of the team as a whole.
“But is there equality? Do you only get $25 a week too?”
Yes, I do. I have $25 each week that gets put into an account, and if I ever want to spend money, it’s there for me when I need it. I don’t go out very often and I don’t really have a need to spend anything outside of the necessities.
Remember, I’m a saver. I have a nasty habit of saving money instead of spending it on myself. And I’m okay with that! If I spend $25 a month on something fun for me , I will do a self-care-happy-dance because I need to remember to fill up my bucket so that I can pour into others.
The marriage of a saver and a spender can work if there is a balance of love and understanding.
If you take nothing else away from this, remember that marriage is a balance. It’s a team effort. As long as the spender knows that they have a spending problem, and that any budgeting for them is done from a place of love and respect and not out of a need to control, that is the key here.
My husband knows that he gets $25 a week to spend on just stuff for himself not out of a place of anger or bitterness or hatred, but out of love and trying to do what’s best for a family as a whole.
How do you control the spender in your relationship?