I need to start dating again.
I really do. I need the break from reality, the getting dressed up, the company, the attention, time to stop being “mom” and get back to being me… all of it! I want to go out and get to know someone better.
But I don’t want to get back in to the dating scene. I want to date my husband.
Chaotic work schedules, late nights, 3 crazy kids, all of the stresses of keeping up a household, and just life in general, has driven a nasty wedge between my husband and myself. We didn’t notice it really until we were both at each other’s throats talking about how the only logical next step is divorce.
Wow. Now, wait a second. Is that where we were? Were we really staring down the barrel of the D-word-gun? Or were we just missing something? Were we both just craving something that wasn’t happening?
We started talking about why we were so angry and upset; it wasn’t about money, not about helping out around the house, or taking care of the kids… so why were we so unhappy?
We couldn’t figure it out. But then somehow we started talking about dating and we realized that the last time we had a date was 6 months ago!
Six. MONTHS. Ago!
Once we realized how long it had been, we immediately called the grandparents and scheduled a sleepover for the kids. Yes, it was that simple.
We have a tough situation as far as asking for family help goes; we live in between an hour and a half to three hours away from our families. So while all of our peers regularly had their parents watch the kids, we had to choose between seeing family for the first time in months or escaping from the kids for the first time in months.
We needed an escape from our hectic schedule to get back to just being us. Thank God for incredible family friends who watched all three (yes… All. THREE.) boys so we could escape for 2 hours.
That little 2-hour date was the closest we’ve been in a long time. That 2-hour break from our day was like hitting the reset button on our attitudes about each other. And it was great!
Dating was what brought us together; a mutual love of talking (loudly), eating good food, holding hands while walking, doing some window shopping for our house, and just getting to know each other again.
It’s easy to get caught up in life and forget about dating your spouse. The excuses come too easy: we don’t have the money, I’m tired, you’re tired, the kids are in terrible moods, there’s more important stuff to do, it’s just not important… all things we’ve used as excuses to stop dating.
But in a dating relationship, what would happen if you stopped going on dates? If you stopped wanting to get to know someone? You’d probably break up.
The same thing happens in a marriage. If you don’t invest the time into it, you’ll grow further and further apart until you hit a breaking point.
Needless to say, dating is certainly on my priority list now! And it’s made a world of difference in the whole way that my marriage works.
What do you do to make your spouse a priority?
Something Crunchy Mummy says
Great post and so very true! Life can get hectic and we can forget the reason we are together but a date night brings it all back. Thanks for sharing on #justanotherlinky xx
[email protected] says
Thanks so much for stopping by! Date nights really do bring it all together.
Grace Esedeke says
Great post. I love the quote on your image. And its very true. Going on a date once in a while brings everything all together, and it saves a lot.
Your neighbour at Mom 2 Mom linky.
[email protected] says
Grace, you’re exactly right! A simple date really can save a lot in the long run!
Grace Esedeke says
Thank you for linking with us at #EncourageMeLinkup. Hope to see you again…
Melinda says
Wow! That quote hit me in the heart! I hope y’all go on a date-pronto!!
Here from Inspire Me Monday.
[email protected] says
Thanks, Melinda! We’re definitely making it a priority now!
Abi @ Joy In My Kitchen says
Yes! We don’t get “out” on dates too often (and usually trade babysitting with another family when we do) but have made a habit of weekly at-home dates even with kids in the house. Nothing elaborate and it is sometimes hard to set aside the cares of the home, but setting aside time regularly to enjoy each other is vital.
[email protected] says
It really is hard to just be together at home when there are so many distractions around. But even that time together is precious and important! Thanks for stopping by!
Sarah Koontz says
I love that quote about the divorce lawyer vs. a baby sitter. SO TRUE! You are right, we would never have considered NOT going out together frequently when we were dating….
Thanks for the reminder about the importance of connecting with my spouse.
I found you through the Thoughtful Thursday Linkup. I am brand new to the christian blogging community, and looking forward to connecting with other bloggers!
[email protected] says
Thanks for stopping by, Sarah, and I’m glad this was true for you! I’m new to the community too, but it’s been a lot of fun in this first month!
Marla Martenson says
Great post and great reminder to put our marriage first. Yes, a divorce lawyer is more expensive than a baby sitter. I am visiting from Katherine’s Corner. xx
[email protected] says
It really is important to put our marriage first! Thanks for stopping by, Marla!
Pamela Shank says
I think we all have been to this point in our marriages. We finally put our marriage as a priority to our busy lives and it really does make a difference. Enjoy dating your man
[email protected] says
It really does make a difference! I wasn’t expecting it to, but it did right off the bat.
Long Ladies says
Enjoyed reading this post!
I am still a single lady, but my sisters and I are constantly looking for good marriage advice and tips. This is certainly one to add to our Pinterest boards. 🙂
Thank you!
~Haley
Michele Morin says
Excellent point about the divorce lawyer.
I’d also point out that a date is cheaper than a psychiatrist, and may have just as important influence on mental health of the mum who has been with the little people all day long!
Blessings to you!
Caroline says
That’s so true, Michele!
Marissa says
I can totally relate! My husband and I were just talking about how it would do our whole family good for us to have regular date nights. Thanks for sharing!
Caroline says
We could all use a date night, Marissa! Getting out when you have kids is so tough, but it NEEDS to happen!
Lorey Lyons says
Hi Caroline! I love love love this post! Dating is such a vital part of a marriage, one that a lot of us forget about in the daily grind. Thanks so much for link up at the Weekender!
Caroline says
It’s so true, Lorey! Thanks for stopping by!
Christia Colquitt says
Date nights are so key. I find that sometimes we are on a rollercoaster. Being consistent then not getting them in. This is a great post as a reminder. Thank you for sharing on the Faith Filled Parenting LinkUp.